Why, When and How to use your Financial Affidavit

Hibu Websites • February 11, 2020

Why, When and How to use your Financial Affidavit.

The most important tool in your divorce is frequently the most over-looked, and avoided. Even its name is off-putting; but it is the key to understanding all of the other issues which arise. It is called (drumroll, please), “The Financial Affidavit” (yawn).

Frankly, most people should keep a current finanical affidavit available whether or not they are contemplating divorce. A financial affidavit is just a form that shows you how much you have in income, expenses, liabilities and assets. While these may sound like no-brainer questions, most people cannot accurately answer these questions off the top of their heads. Sometimes one member of a family knows all the answers and the other just relies on that person. Sometimes neither party can answer them. Rarely, but sometimes, both parties are very aware of all of the finances.

It is surprising to me how often a client – or an opposing party – resists using the simple form available on the Judicial Branch websites of most states. It can be a little complicated the first time you look at it (for example, in Connecticut, you have to divide every monthly amount by 4.3 weeks). But the value of this tool far outweighs its inconvenience.

Here is a link to the CT “Long Form” to give you a sense of the questions it poses. https://jud.ct.gov/webforms/forms/FM006-LONG.pdf

WHY: Look, I hate to be the one to tell you, but divorces frequently come down to a set of financial decisions. After the child-rearing and emotional issues have been resolved, it is similar to a business transaction. People want to know: How much child support will I have to pay or receive? How much alimony? What portion of the debts and assets will be assigned to me? The answer to these basic and all-important questions is not a secret magical formula. It is a direct function of the information contained in your own personal financial picture.

Simply put, better informed is better prepared. Building your own financial affidavit will likely compel you to ask questions and make some calculations that you never thought to ask. Questions like how much money do we spend on restaurants each week? How much equity is in our house right now? Do we have retirement accounts, and how much are they worth? Not only is this good information for the court. It is good information for you. If you are trying to imagine what a post-divorce future will look like, knowing your finanical picture can help define those scenarios. Picture knowing how much money you would have if you sold your house; how much disposable income you have right now; and what you are paying for health insurance each month. These are the questions people pay attorneys and financial consultants to help them figure out. And, ironically, you are the only one who can get them the information which unlocks these secrets!

WHEN: Early and often. If you bring a completed financial affidavit with you to your first meeting with your divorce attorney or mediator, you will save yourself time and money getting to the heart of what the case will entail. In most jurisdictions you will need to disclose the information within the first few weeks of any divorce action, and so will your spouse. So, why wait? Get the information to your attorney as soon as you can. The earlier your lawyer or mediator is informed about your case, the more accurate they can be in looking for an appropriate resolution.

FAQ: Why should I divulge my information to my spouse? Aren’t we going to be fighting about this? Shouldn’t I keep it a secret?

Answer: The court will compel you to share all information, anyway. Any knowledge which is not exchanged voluntarily is likely to come out on the witness stand – either in deposition or at trial – anyway. But, of course, voluntarily costs less time and money.

HOW: Despite the mysterious-sounding 4.3 weeks rule and all of the detail (weekly grooming costs!?), these forms are straightforward once you understand them. And, as with so many things, the internet has made the work easier than ever. Start by finding your most recent paystubs, tax returns, mortgage loan statement, and credit/debit card statements (these can be downloaded from your banking institution). These 4 sets of documents will provide you 80% of your necessary information. When you are ready to get started, set aside one hour of time. Supply yourself with one scratch copy of the form to work on and a blank copy to fill-in later, a sharpened pencil & eraser, a calculator, a note pad for jotting questions or doing calculations, and a tall glass of your favorite beverage. Preferably non-alcoholic, to cut down on mistakes. Then, start filling in the blanks. Any questions you still can’t answer, just make a note and move on.

Pro tip: On your first time through the form, use the figures as you find them. If your mortgage is a monthly amount; write it that way. If you spent a total of $5,000 on vacations last year; write it that way. Get your figures all in one place; convert it to weekly later.

Once your first draft is complete you have a choice – you can stop there and give the draft and your supporting documentation to a professional to complete for you. You have already saved yourself hours of professional fees by making a solid first draft. Or, you can go for it and convert the figures to weekly on your own. It is not so hard. Any monthly amount gets divided by 4.3. Any annual amount gets divided by 52. So, if you spent $5000 on vacations last year, you would put $96 as your weekly vacation budget. If your monthly mortgage loan payment is $2000, that’s $465 per week.

And now – here’s the icing on the cake… you have created your own financial snap shot! If you are not getting a divorce, you have a realistic budget to use when you plan for future events. If you are going through a divorce you now know what each of you should have when the smoke clears. Even if its not much, at least you know what it is!

What We Love: Divorce is an opportunity for growth. Taking charge of your life begins with understanding your finances and leads to your own empowerment.

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Reinventing Yourself After Divorce: How Change Can Fuel Confidence and Empowerment

By Laura Pearson • September 16, 2025

Reinventing Yourself After Divorce: How Change Can Fuel Confidence and Empowerment Divorce may end a marriage, but it doesn’t end you. In fact, it often begins something else entirely — the powerful process of rediscovery. You’re not starting over. You’re starting forward. This transition, however disorienting, carries within it the raw materials for something rare: a life rebuilt by choice. But reinvention doesn’t happen by accident. It begins when you stop waiting to be ready and start moving — imperfectly, bravely, now. Rediscover Your True Self Before you add new layers, peel back the old ones. Divorce strips away routines, roles, and shared identities — which can feel terrifying, but also clarifying. You finally get to ask: What was I doing out of obligation? Who am I when nobody’s watching? That kind of reflection opens the door to something deeper. As one woman shared about her post-divorce experience, the quiet led to your path to self-discovery — not a version of herself filtered through someone else’s expectations, but one rooted in clarity and agency. Release Old Narratives There’s a story playing in your head about why things ended, what it means, and what it says about you. Most of it? Probably outdated. Divorce stirs grief, but it also shakes loose outdated self-concepts. The beliefs you carried in marriage — “I’m bad with money,” “I’m not strong,” “I’m hard to love” — often came from somewhere else entirely. One critical healing shift is shedding self-limiting beliefs that were never yours to carry in the first place. Unlearning is part of becoming. Rewrite the script, or it’ll keep casting you in roles you’ve outgrown. Create a Personal Brand Identity You’ve rewritten your story — now design how it shows up. Whether you’re restarting a business, refreshing your portfolio, or just owning your personal evolution, visuals matter. You don’t need a design degree to create a signature look. Even a simple tool to design logos can help you represent your new direction with confidence. A brand isn’t just for companies. It’s a declaration of self — clear, intentional, and unafraid to be seen. Reclaim Your Self-Worth Confidence doesn’t return on its own. It rebuilds itself in motion — when you do hard things, make clean decisions, and keep tiny promises to yourself. Divorce can flatten self-esteem, especially if blame, betrayal, or failure were part of the narrative. But the path forward isn’t performative. It’s private, gritty, and slow. As this breakdown of steps to reclaim self-worth explains, the key isn’t waiting to feel better — it’s acting like someone who deserves better, even before it feels real. Dress for the confidence you’re crafting. Speak like someone you want to be. And then? Watch that version of you take shape. Get Expert Guidance Trying to "figure it out on your own" can trap you in loops. Sometimes what you need isn’t advice — it’s scaffolding. Working with someone trained to listen and reflect without projecting can radically accelerate your growth. Life coaches and therapists aren’t there to fix you — they help you see the tools you already have. This breakdown of how to find new strength through expert support reframes coaching as an act of self-trust, not dependence. If you’ve always been the one others leaned on, asking for help now might be your boldest move yet. Project Your Renewed Self When your inner life shifts, your outer world should follow. Changing your hair, your clothes, your space — it’s not superficial, it’s symbolic. You’re not pretending to be someone else. You’re declaring who you’ve become. One woman shared how a fun breakup makeover boost helped her reconnect with a part of herself that had gone quiet. Visibility, in this phase, is permission — for others to meet the new you, and for you to keep stepping into her. Start with what feels good. Confidence often walks in through the side door. Define a Confident Future The future won’t wait for you to feel ready. But it will respond to clarity. What does a good year look like now? Where do you want to live? How do you want to spend your time? Setting goals after divorce isn’t about control — it’s about vision. You get to write new metrics for happiness. This practical primer on setting meaningful personal goals offers strategies that start where you are and build forward. You’ve endured enough reactivity. This part? You get to do it on purpose. Reinvention isn’t always loud. Sometimes, it starts quietly — in late-night journals, in uncomfortable therapy sessions, in a new pair of shoes that feel nothing like your old life. Divorce can feel like a collapse, but it can also be a clearing. A space you get to rebuild. If you’re standing in that space now, unsure of what’s next, know this: the work you do now becomes the life you get to live next. And yes, that life can be even better. Ready to move forward? Visit Oberst DeFala Law today to schedule your personalized consultation and take the first step toward a smoother divorce process. Laura Pearson believes that every student has great potential and aims to help as many as possible unlock it. Ms. Pearson and Edutude strive to find unique, creative ways for parents and educators to encourage students to be challenged, motivated and excited by learning Love Your Divorce - https://love-your-divorce.com/ Such connections are invaluable - https://oneparent.org/single-moms-the-importance-of-having-a-support-system/ Adobe Express basic resume template - https://www.adobe.com/express/templates/resume managing expenses wisely - https://www.thebalancemoney.com/money-management-101-for-single-parents-2997424 Financial management apps like Simplifi and Rocket Money - https://www.pcmag.com/picks/the-best-personal-finance-services necessity for the well-being - https://www.metrofamilymagazine.com/simple-self-care-for-busy-parents/ Open and honest communication - https://www.mother.ly/life/8-expert-tips-talk-effectively-kids/ Love Your Divorce - https://love-your-divorce.com/

Why You May Need to Hire a Mediation Lawyer

March 5, 2025

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Navigating Your Uncontested Divorce in Connecticut: A Guide to Essential Documents

By Sharon Oberst DeFala, Esq • January 14, 2025

Navigating Your Uncontested Divorce in Connecticut: A Guide to Essential Documents Going through a divorce is never easy, but when you and your spouse are in agreement about the major issues, opting for an uncontested divorce can simplify the process. At Oberst Defala Law in Norwalk, Connecticut, we understand the complexities of family law and are here to guide you every step of the way. What Makes a Divorce "Uncontested"? An uncontested divorce in Connecticut means you and your spouse have reached a mutual understanding regarding: • Division of Assets: How property, finances, and possessions will be split. • Debt Allocation: Who is responsible for outstanding debts. • Child Custody and Support: Parenting plans, custody arrangements, and child support obligations (if applicable). Essential Documents for Your Uncontested Divorce While an uncontested divorce is generally smoother, Connecticut courts still require specific documentation to finalize the process. Here's a breakdown of what you'll need: Standard Documents: • Divorce Agreement (Form JD-FM-172) : This legally binding document outlines all the agreed-upon terms of your divorce, including asset division, debt distribution, and more. • Financial Affidavits ( Form JD-FM-6 ): Both parties must submit financial affidavits dated within the last 30 days, providing a clear picture of their financial situation. • Affidavit Concerning Military Service (JD-FM-178 ): This confirms whether either spouse is currently on active military duty. • Wage Withholding for Support ( Form JD-FM-1 ): If your agreement includes alimony or child support, this form facilitates direct deductions from the payor's paycheck. Additional Documents for Divorces with Children: • Affidavit Concerning Children ( Form JD-FM-164 ): Provides essential information about your children. • Child Support Guidelines Worksheet (Form JD-FM-220): This must be completed even if you're waiving child support. • Certificate of Completion of Parenting Education Program: Connecticut requires both parents to complete this program. • Advisement of Rights Re: Income Withholding ( Form JD-FM-71 ): Addresses your rights regarding income withholding for child support. How Oberst Defala Law Can Help Navigating these legal requirements can feel overwhelming. Our experienced family law attorneys at Oberst Defala Law are here to provide expert guidance and ensure your uncontested divorce proceeds smoothly. We can assist with: • Preparing and reviewing your divorce agreement • Completing all necessary court forms • Representing you in court • Answering your questions and addressing your concerns Contact Us Today Don't face this process alone. Contact Oberst Defala Law in Norwalk today for a consultation. We're dedicated to helping you achieve a fair and amicable resolution to your divorce.